RATING: 2 Keys          RESULT: Win          REMAINING: 6:26

We’re the world’s most qualified spies – and how do I know that? Because we played a video game relic from the 1980s.

Strictly confidential! As one of the best spies of the CIA, you think corruption is blocking the everyday operation of the Agency. Your duty is to find the evidence, and escape from the institution with a secret code.

Our story begins with a preshow video that was clearly, um, inspired (?) by the James Bond and Mission: Impossible films, as evidenced by the unlicensed footage it boldly displayed.

From there, we are issued a pair of blacked out sunglasses that act as a blindfolded (something consistent with all three rooms in Miami, making us wonder why PanIQ Room is so obsessed with this tactic that unquestionably adds nothing to any of their experiences) and we find inside a top secret CIA facility.

It remains entirely unclear why we need to break into the CIA if we are among its best agents, an thus, would clearly have legal access. It’s equally confusing why our primary goal then becomes to solve puzzles to obtain an escape code – something we should also already have given our story-issued qualifications.

Though PanIQ Room Miami has exhibited they have a decent handle on products compelling scenic, the environment of My Spy is their least engaging. Intended to be some type of CIA stronghold, the bulk of this two room game takes place in a fairly large, open room  that feels more like a modern laboratory than a super high tech government facility.

A chain link fence separating the first room into effectively two spaces creates a tantalizing “you can see it but you can’t get it” tease that motivates us to push forward into the sealed second room beyond it- but even once inside, we’re left feeling a bit hollow by its attempt to theme the environment.

My Spy’s puzzles were not exceptionally memorable, chalked full of much of the “standard PanIQ Room fair” of puzzles for puzzles sake. It was difficult to feel as though much of what we did connected in any way to our role as a secret agent our our objective to save the world (or whatever our objective actually was meant to be.)

As we touched upon in our review of Haunted Hospital, I’ll share this bit directly as it is duplicated almost exactly within My Spy:

Be prepared to play the most primitive video game you’ll ever see – and don’t expect to have a second of fun while doing it. Clearly meant to be a pure time-sink, playing it makes you wonder what you *could* be doing instead to sensibly further the story or even just the gameplay itself. And worse, you’ll need to play that game several times over in a round-based nonsense competition.

I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me why playing a video game proves our worth as secret agents, or conversely how the agency was corrupted. Are they corporate time thieves? Is that the problem here? The other spies are playing video games on the clock, so we, the best spies plan an elaborate mission to basically report our colleagues have been taking home paper clips?

Man that would be a way cooler story than the one My Spy produced.

In a venue full of games that left us feeling empty inside, My Spy left us, um, the emptiest? There’s literally not a puzzle to be had that inspired us to share in conversation once the game’s time concluded. It’s just a very uninspired attraction.

PanIQ Room Miami’s saving grace here continues to be the realization that, “Hey, we could be worse!” And yes, there are much worse games out there – even within the Miami market itself. And as such thanks to our relative scoring system, PanIQ Room barely inches out a 2 Key score by comparison – but the simple truth is these are not games we would ever recommend our reader spend the time nor money to experience for themselves.

Show your support for Escape Authority and get social with us:

Venue:  PanIQ Room

Location: Miami, Florida

Number of Games: 3

GAME SPECIFIC INFORMATION:

Duration: 60 minutes

Capacity: 6 people

Group Type: Private / You will not be paired with strangers.

Cost: $32 per person weekdays, $36 per person weekends (a minimum of two people are required for booking, prices vary depending on group size.)