– FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE –
Orlando, Fla — It is never easy to report tragedy, no matter how often we as mankind must face it. While recording a segment intended to be prominently featured on Escape Authority™’s Emmy-nominated Second Hand Podcast™ Episode 7™, social media expert and resident genius Jeff was severely injured for a highly unlikely third time. That show, including Jeff’s shocking final moments, can be heard in its entirety below. Viewer discretion is advised.
Jeff’s many talents and subsequently many passions have been long documented. From his treks across the Serengeti for Hugs For Elephants™, his charitable organization aimed at bringing much needed awareness to literally tens of species of endangered animals (but mostly elephants) to his tireless efforts to produce Honey For The Homeless™ which provides fresh-made honey to feed the hungry closer to home, Jeff has been a long-standing, dedicated member of Escape Authority™’s Core Team, always finding time in his busy schedule to share his wisdom with our readers and listeners around the globe.
While on a routine storm chasing field expedition, something he had done countless times before, Mother Nature finally got the upper hand in her long-standing rivalry with Jeff. In the most unlikely of accidents, a sudden cloud to ground bolt of lightning struck Jeff directly on the top of his skull, coursing upwards of one billion volts of electricity throughout his body. The storm has since passed, and sun is in the forecast for the remainder of this week, with beautiful beach weather projected for this weekend.
Escape Authority™ immediately reached out to the Florida Hospital Lightning Victim Ward, who in turn refused to give us any information about his condition as none of us are his blood relatives.
We assume that Jeff will eventually make a full recovery, because he usually seems to. At the risk of spurring unnecessary panic, we must, however, report that one nurse who asked to remain anonymous tells us he may be forced to live the rest of his life with crippling baldness.
Notwithstanding yesterday’s horrific events, Escape Authority™ looks forward to featuring Jeff on future episodes of the Second Hand Podcast™, as he remains contractually obligated to appear.
We ask that you keep Jeff in your thoughts on his road to recovery, and to celebrate his life and accomplishments, we dedicate a small portion of our proceeds in his memory. Escape Authority™ will, however, remain completely non-profit, rendering our donation to a projected total sum of $0.